Crap...

Everything was going great. I did all the stuff I had to get done today and cooked a big batch of chilli for everyone. I've had my eating under control lately and feeling great about it. I ate a healthy sized portion of chilli but now am fighting not to purge. I can't stop thinking how much better I'll feel to have all of that food out of me. But I know it'll only be the start of a slippery slope that I shouldn't go down again. I can't. I need to go do something to take my mind off it. But I'm not sure if I can do that.